Monday, July 27, 2009

This is bad....

So, I've landed.... and much to my chagrin was awakened this morning to crowing. So while I was holding out hope that my rooster was a hen, it is, in fact a rooster. Bummer... Me needs to find a home for it now. Besides, my neighbor is about as friendly as a badger and one hint of me being in the wrong on something will send her to the City to file a complaint.

I would love to keep him, but ordinances say otherwise. Even if I did, the roosters crow is the saddest crow ever heard and I would need to hire real roosters to come over and teach this bird how to really make my neighbors mad. In fact, this morning I thought my kids were coughing, only to realize "caw-ca-cough, cough cough" is not a kid sound, but a chicken-type sound. I walked out there thinking I would see a spent bottle of Jack Daniels and an empty pack of Camels. The rooster winks at me as I walk up...

So, I then research the question!

If I keep him - do I muzzle him or send him to a Beverly Hills throat doctor and alter him to sound more hen-ish? Why do I risk this...? Standing like Rosa Parks at the front of the City Chambers, not budging cause I am going to KEEP MY ROOSTER! Not quite the landmark political statement, but a statement nonetheless, because fertilized eggs are better for me and the City is not taking away my health intiative! So, are they? Are fertilized eggs healthier?

"Ehhhhh negative tower, fertilized eggs are not healthier, they just have more opportunity"

So, with that little nugget, I need to find a home for old Kapalua, Rue Paul, or whatever it's name is now... "Pat!" Remember Pat on SNL? Anyway, Pat needs a home. My kids are heartbroken...

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